A Tale of Three Exes — Part 1

6 Jan

I was going to call this ghost of boyfriends past but that was taken by Michael McConaughey and besides I don’t count at least one of these guys as a boyfriend, just a confused dater.
Anyway, over the last year I ran into three exes, guys I never thought I would see again and learned a little something. I think it goes like this: “What was I thinking?” Or it could have been more like (imagine me with a lucky strike hanging out of my mouth and sipping on a dirty martini)
“They all come back.”

I used to date David, kind of a transitional guy who was a bit of a dude. You know, still trick-or treated, hi-fived waiters and said “this sauce rules” at really nice restaurants and once stared up the dress of my vintage Barbie Doll to see if she was wearing underwear. To his delight she was not. Hard to pressure this guy for a commitment with a straight face.

Then I ran into him three years ago at a cool Hollywood event in someone’s backyard in the Valley. He had this petite, quiet brunette with very flat hair with him and introduced her as his wife. As she went to get his drink he took the opportunity to tell me she was from Russia and then said “These Russian girls they don’t have that American girl mentality, they really know how to love a man.”

Is this what men really want? A mail order bride? Even dudes? Well there’s more, but I’m saving it for another time…


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